I can’t help but find it touching the stories of friendship that stand the test of time, that endure and develop without stopping, throughout life. I do think that there are what I would call “friendly soul mates” and I envy the people who make a living from them, but I also believe that the notion of duration is far from being the only criterion defining strength or the value of a friendship.
Personally, the people I currently consider to be my best friends are pretty much all of the people I have met in the past two years. Not because I was a recluse before this period, but because lately I have participated in more social activities which have brought me to meet a variety of people. What do these special people who are now part of my daily life have in common? These are people with whom I can be totally vulnerable, expressive, colorful, genuine, without fear of judgment. Open-minded people who know which paths I have taken, who have helped and encouraged me to pick myself up and who continue to accompany me in every step of my daily life: joys, sorrows, successes, failure. People who stimulate me, nourish me, which push me to question myself, which gently confront me. Exchanges of music, news and also (and yes), a little “gossip” through. Lightness to accompany me in my days. A caring presence. The luxury of knowing that we are not alone, that there is always someone on the end of the phone or text, someone who believes in us.
I also had beautiful friendships in my youth and adolescence, but life being what it is, we all follow our path, we all live our own experiences, we change, we evolve (me first) and that can be a big blow to friendship. I recently read a few texts on the transience of relationships these days and it is true that it is a sad observation to make, to think of all these beautiful connections that we have lost over the years. When I meet a new person and develop a strong bond with them, I always have hope that the relationship will last and grow, but sometimes everyone needs to take a different path, to see things from a different perspective. and to take a step back and, in that sense, walking away from certain friends is not necessarily a failure in itself, in my opinion.
Life can also hold great surprises at this level. Recently, I had the chance to reconnect with friends who were close to me several years ago, but whom I had long lost sight of. Now I feel like the relationship can evolve to another level and bring me a lot. I have the impression that the true, strongest friendships can be rekindled after several years, even with the passage of time, that the initial bond is more easily found.
I imagine that each of us has our own needs and expectations when it comes to friendship, but in my opinion the only common and essential points are availability and trust. I also believe that in order for a friendship relationship to remain healthy and to continue to develop, it is essential that both people put the same time or energy into it. Because like a couple, a friendship is nurtured. I think that the criterion of frequency of interviews is less important in friendship and varies a lot, but you still need a will to bring the relationship to life.
I am lucky to have these small benevolent presences with me and I hope to be able to bring as much to these precious people as they do to me and to be me too at the height of their friendship. My respects and health to all, my friends, sparks of my daily life.