#Metoo project: The right to be angry

The following text was written within the framework of the project “Hommage aux fxmmes #metoo”. The idea behind this project is to offer a new voice to the #metoo movement, particularly directed towards denunciations by women of sexual assault or misconduct, although women are not the only victims of violence. sexual. The authors who will take part in the project will share with you their thoughts, opinions, observations as well as their support, love and wishes for the future for the cause of sexual violence. 

– Laurianne André, bachelor in sexology

When I heard about this project, I immediately thought it was a wonderful idea. Then, the more I thought about it, the more I found it absurd. Absurd that this project has to see the light of day, in fact. When you sit down and think about it for two minutes, it’s sad to see that you live in a society where adversity and division still reign. No matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that social relations between the sexes are getting better and better, we have to admit that this is not the case. We can try to emancipate ourselves, to say that we are much more than our sex / gender, to make the dividing line more blurred; It is clear that despite the efforts made, we are always reminded and reduced to the essential: our status as women.

I think that the current times reflect enormous changes in mentality and it is for the best, but women continue to be abused on a daily basis in the smallest gestures. We have to get out of an egalitarian logic that would encompass only pay equity or access to employment: it’s so much broader than that. The distribution of the mental and emotional load, of the contraceptive load, of household chores: all this is so far from being resolved. Women have every right in the world to shout their anger out loud, just as they have the right to be exhausted from their treatment. Absolutely no one is in a position to judge the public denunciations of the last few months, for the simple reason that if we have not lived them, we will never be able to understand what it is. Whether they decide to publicly denounce their attacker, to do so to the police or whether they choose to remain silent: all of that is valid. We spend so much time focusing on this “stage”, instead of getting to the root of the act. Act that takes place in a whole sexist and toxic system that we can no longer endure.

I think this is what should be remembered: violence and sexual harassment are only symptomatic of a problem so much bigger, it is the “end of the Iceberg ”. I am a fervent of feminism on a daily basis: I believe that it is in everyday actions that sexism is played out and hidden. As part of my career in feminist studies, this is also something that I had difficulty with: I felt “bad” because I was not sufficiently militant, activist or even present on the public scene in the defense of women. Little by little, thanks to a lot of questioning, I realized that there were as many feminisms as there were women. This is what, I find, in fact all the beauty: to each its fight.

I come back to anger. We are tired of hearing the men around us shout from the rooftops that they are allies of the # metoo movement , allies of women. When you find yourself with your boy club , do you really take our defense? Are you telling your good friend that it is not always legitimate in the way it approaches its conquests? After all, why question your friendships and relationships for that? This is what is annoying. It is seeing every day, before our eyes, micro-attacks that pass through the butterand life goes on. It’s trivializing and minimizing our experiences, which, by the way, is just as violent. I’m talking about men, but we agree here that several women have themselves internalized sexist reflexes of all kinds.

To think that you are all called rapists is to put a veil on the real things. Stop taking everything personal and playing the ostrich (I’m generalizing, of course). It’s not only when it comes out in the media and on social networks that we have to ask ourselves questions. It happens every day and it’s everywhere, harassment. We never forget it: if we manage to forget it, it never lasts very long. I passed the stage of being embarrassed when I get whistled in the street. I am disgusted, angry, exhausted, tired of being disappointed. And I have all the reasons in the world to be. Will it really change one day? How many assaults, trials and demonstrations will it take?

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